Anxiety, Vacation, Fall Craft Fairs

Good morning. It's been quite some time since I blogged. I have really good intentions to keep up with things here and on my YouTube channel, but then life just...happens...and before you know it, it's been over a month and you haven't posted anything.

We hit Disney again last month (where else?), staying at the Old Key West resort. I think this may be my new favorite resort. It is entirely a DVC studio/suite resort, though I do believe if there is availability you can book it for cash. It has a boat to Disney Springs, and the vibe is so chill and relaxed. We absolutely loved it. Each room was like you had rented a condo, rather than being part of a resort hotel, the way it is designed. We had a "quiet" pool not far from our room that we visited almost every day. It was just lovely. Our room even had a view of the golf course off our patio. We plan to book there again next summer.

We had a lovely vacation. We even spent a day and night over at Universal and Islands of Adventure, which Austin has never been to. We hung out with my brother, who lives in Florida, for the day, and he had a blast taking Austin on rides. The Mummy was a huge hit (my favorite too), and seeing Diagon Alley for the first time was pretty amazing. I even managed to catch the Gringotts dragon breathing fire:

Since we got back I've been preparing for three craft fairs I am participating in this fall. I plan to bring my handmade earrings and cards, but I have a lot to make before the first show date! So I have been in my craft room much of the day, while also trying to keep up with housework, Austin being back to school, and other stuff of daily life.

I did finalize what I want for my booth display - I have a custom table runner on the way (they sent me the wrong one the first time). I have displays for the earrings and the cards, including some inexpensive wood storage drawers from Ikea. I'm very excited but also very nervous as I haven't done a craft fair since Austin was a baby. I hope I'm prepared enough! I plan to put out my tables for a practice setup (minus the products) this weekend, so once I do that I'll take a few pics and post them for you guys.

Other than that, I've just been trying to manage my anxiety, and I'm failing at it. My anxiety has been in overdrive ever since last fall. I think I had this plan of how things were going to go and suddenly things were chaotic and unknown and it's just put me in this state of constant worry and fear and panic. And when I say constant...I mean constant. At any given point in a day, my mind is focused on exactly what could go wrong. I lay awake at night worrying about a gas leak, or a break in, or that Austin's going to suddenly stop breathing down the hall and I won't know about it. I have mentioned before (I think) that I have this constant fear of him choking or falling down the stairs. I mean, ridiculous things, I worry about ALL.THE.TIME. I have an intense fear of certain bridges that I never in my whole life had before, ever since the bridge collapse in Florida. I panic about being stopped under them, or stuck over water.

And then I'm obsessed with true crime and missing persons, so I watch those videos on YouTube and that only makes the anxiety worse, but I have zero willpower to turn away from them!

It's very clear that if I stopped watching negative things...if I laid off caffeine, got enough sleep, exercised and took care of myself, and let go of social media, things would be "better." But I am clearly not making my mental health a priority right now, because I feel like I can't, and so I'm in this state of constant anxiousness that I can't turn off because I'm not willing to do the things to turn it off. I'd like to say I hope I can do so soon, know me and following through on things.

Alright, enough for today. Thanks for listening, if you're out there! Even if I have nothing productive or interesting to say. I appreciate you taking the time to read.

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